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| Category | Quote | E-Mail this quote |
|---|---|---|
| Awards | I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. | |
| Humor | When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it. | |
| Marriage | My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. | |
| Priorities | Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. |
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